Sunday, January 07, 2007

Is it really is?


Is this life???

“I’ve found the real world around me is all fake! The life of laugh and smile is just fake! But the dream life is real! It’s always like what I think! If I imagine it is what, it does always be!”

As experienced, I found my over 16 year’s time I’ve been through is a waste! I knew nothing! And I just know now that I knew nothing at all besides my fake smiles, and the words from books I’ve read.

I was so stupid, even I’ve been through this fake life experience already. Those are all my faults cuz of too quick to believe others around me! But now I know life is a game which one cheats another and keep continue. Or is this just my life? Or just the others never think of this? My lessons teach me to be a metal-hearted girl now. They take away my confident in believing people.

In addition, I think I was wrong… I’ve done many things wrong! I have no skills of living a life in this beautiful world happily. I was on the way toward my goal to be a successful person but obstacles always keep me stuck in de middle of the road. I can’t fight as I’ve lost faith in myself. I always lose things I love best cuz I am so stupid. My hopes never stay with me long at all. Every thing comes and goes like thunder. Nothing is long and forever. Nothing is stable. Time is not kind to me at all. Time takes my favorite stuffs and people away and gone from me…

Living a life just to lie oneself, just to fulfill the obligations of being a mankind, just a role play in a life game, live with fake smiles, fake laughter, fake cry, and fake thoughts. I don’t fancy a life like this! I don’t want the environment around me to cheat me! Why don’t we live a real life in the real world? It’s so hurt living in a real world but fake life! I’d tried to move myself from the imaginary world cuz afraid it will hurt me, but when I come to the real world, I find it’s even more painful! Why? The people in dream world are all honest. In contrast, the ones in real world, I can’t measure! They are not all honest; their words are different from their hearts! Not loyal at all! Like a song, “This I Promise You”, I found it’s right! Here it is: “The visions around you, bring tears to your eyes, and all that surrounds you, are secrets and lies”. I’ve received some vows, but with these vows, I hurt a lot! Now I have no more space! I don’t have the bottle to keep my sorrow and pains from those vows at all! The owner of the vows is just liar! No more!

There’s an article from Reader’s Digest, “How Love and Care Heal”. Doctors said, “Why do some people get well even though their doctors think they have no chance, while others die who seem to have had every chance to recover? Survival seems to depend on something more than just having the right treatment. Perhaps knowing others care, that you matter to other people, strengthens a deep impulse toward life – a way to live – that is in every one of us.”
“ជីវិតនៃការយំ និង សើច គឺជាជីវិតពោរពេញទៅដោយការបោកប្រាស់ !”


Hollyplanet said...

Dee Dee,

Don't judge your life on this direction. Don't consider all are fake. All are real, but it just changes. Nothing can be the same in this work. The past is the shadow. You have to think about the future. What you should do for the rest of your life. Now you are stil young. You will face much more problem that you've never expected later till the end of your life. So you must be strong and fighting with the problem. Up to the point that you consider is the limit of your needs. This is human life? This is my life, your life and the other as well.

Sometimes you are happy , sometimes you are sad, but nothing bad all the time. So don't feel sad of your life. You should smile with your brillent life. That's the best way of your life. You shouldn't cry, every one is by your side and want you to smill...

Wish you much more healthy, more friends, more fun and success in your study, and your life time.

Pye pye

Hollyplanet said...

Well, let turn back to see the past of Cambodia:





This is the link for Khmer people express to the whole world to know about Cambodia by voting the new 7 wonders of the world:

All in all, every thing has been changing, it is real and no one've never thought it had happened to Cambodia. I showed to my colleages, who are German, Mayanmar, Italian... they are amazed last but but least Vietnamese... they surprised and laugh when I showed Cambodia in 1965 and the film of Khmer Rouge, I am very painful with them. But I have nothing to say, besides painful in my heart. They don't know that our country is having lot of problem due to VN. This is the failure of leadership of our country. Moreover, I met a German guy and he asked me where I am from. I said--Cambodia. and He surprised and respond that "Oh! I use to be in Cambodia in 2004, and he added there were child prostitues there--It is not good--Cambodia is completely different from Vietnam when pass the border" You know much painful and embarrassed. We don't know how many people feel like him about Cambodia. So, we should not struggle with them. We should recognize our mistake and let improve for the future. We-Khmer, study and develp our country, so no one laught at or look down to our country any more. Too long after the war. It is almost three decades. For instance, let take a look East Germany and West Germany before and now . The East Germany is very high developed now after unification in 1990.

or Japanese, which doesn't have their own natural resources--disaster every week or month I don't know about the date. But It is the largest doner to Cambodia, which always claims rich in Natural resources--Very funny. I am laught at my own country, so shoudln't the other foreigners.

Study and go back to our homeland. Not like my bestfriend who studies with me, graduated, stayed in Phnom Penh for 1 month then flied to stay in USA and try to live there. His certificate is nothing coz he doesn't make use of it.
Just want to release my tension. Just want to share my experience--my life a lone from Cambodia living abroad with other foreigners. This year more studends coming from VN and China are dramatically increased. They come to study in Germany becuase the Tuition is free, but none of Cambodia in the whole state--Dresden.. I feel like alien here.

Regards to all Dee Dee's friends, my head hard disk now is too full. I think I should format it or operate defragement .

DeeDee said...

thanks hollyplanet for ya clear explanation! i'l be back to my old me! a cheerful and competent citizen norh!

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Me, Myself and I

My photo
Phnom Penh, Cambodia
Me? I knew nothin' about myself besides living with smiles and be cheerful cuz i dunno how long my life could last!